Letter From Mom (July 29)

Hello Macey,
I feel like you had a hard week last week and didn't tell us. I think it was mostly the "tone of voice" used in the group email that made me think that and then the super short unfinished email sealed the deal on those feelings. I can't be sure because I haven't been able to ask you about it yet, but I had a few impressions that I wanted to share with you that came as I was listening to your voice message:

You can try to be perfect, but you can't be perfect now. You are such a wonderful girl and have tons of really good qualities and I appreciate all that you are doing in your life to be a good missionary, a good daughter and a good person and Heavenly Father can see that. I hope you make sure that YOU can see that! It sure is nice to be happy all the time, but that is not reality. Everyone has bad days, and everyone stumbles now and then. You are like me in the way that, when I am having a bad day, I don't want to ruin anyone else's day, so I try to smile and put on a happy face, even when I don't feel happy at all. I notice that the older I get, the less I do that and the more I just let it happen a bit. I think it's okay to let people in when we are having a hard time. It makes us human and it makes us relatable. These are two very important qualities to have as a successful Relief Society President. No one can relate to a Molly Mormon! (Also, remember that not everyone is going to like you or what you have to say, but that's okay because they are dumb! The people that know you, love you because you are the BEST!)
Quotes:
--Imperfect people is all God has to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. Dieter F. Uchtdorf
--God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. Let me add that He is fully aware that the people you think are perfect, are not. And yet, we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others - usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem less than what someone else does. Dieter F. Uchtdorf
--Don't you give up. Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come. Jeffery R. Holland

Be cautious of pride. I'm not talking about the major sin of being prideful. I'm talking about worrying about what others think too much. About accepting that we aren't perfect yet. I'm talking about the pride that causes us to hide our true feelings in order to seem perfect now. It's way too much pressure! Plus, I already think you are perfect, so you don't have to worry about that one! You are my little angel!!
Quotes:
--Pride creates a noise within us that makes the quiet voice of the Spirit hard to hear. Henry B. Eyring
--Being humble means recognizing that we are not on earth to see how important we can become, but to see how much difference we can make in the lives of others. Gordon B. Hinckley
--Christ is a gentle teacher. He is gentle with us, and we also need to be gentle with ourselves. Acknowledge you are doing the best you can. Be accepting of your good efforts!

Do not run faster than you have strength. I remember your freshmen year, you calling me up crying that you were just so stressed out and exhausted and weren't sure how you were going to do all that you had to do. You had severely overbooked your time and were wearing yourself out! I love that you have a massive amount of energy and that you put every ounce of it to good use, but remember this scripture:
    " for it is not requisite that a man [or a woman] should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order." [Mosiah 4:27
There is a limit as to how much a person can physically get done in a day, a week, a month. Make sure that feeling peace and feeling joy are among them.

You need time to be a girl too (not just a missionary). Have you ever heard the saying, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"? I'm glad that you went to the aquarium this past pday!! I have been hoping for you to do a bunch of touristy type things and really SEE the beauty and sights of Germany! You've been there long enough that it probably feels a bit like home, but don't forget to soak it all in for soon you will be in America again! P.S. I better not find out that you've lost your cute little girl spunky spazzy fun side or ELSE!!!!!

Okay, end of my Sermon on the Mound (of pillows on the couch!). Haha I'm so funny!  I had two other feelings that were pretty strong that I wanted to share with you. The first is when we went to Girl's Camp this week for Bishop's Day. Dad let me come along! Anyway, it was a really fun day full of games and food and chatting and testimony meeting, of course! They were crying and crying, and it was very sweet, but the sweetest things I saw that night were a couple of the mothers’ that had daughters there, who came up to them and hugged them or sat on their laps and cuddled. It was almost heart wrenching at first to see. I got choked up the first time it happened and by the end of the night, I found myself looking for those mother/daughters to get the good feeling of seeing them together. It made me long for you in a way that I haven't felt at all since you've been gone. I truly feel like Heavenly Father has put a little cloud of forgetfulness over my head in that area so that I won't miss you that badly. Don't get me wrong, I miss you badly, but not enough to cry myself to sleep like some mothers do. Sister H cries when I talk to her about her son being gone! Anyway, you are my precious little baby girl and my heart has the most tender spot in it for you and for our relationship. I hope that will never change! I love you with every tiny bit of me!

The second is the Sacrament meeting we had today. It was the most spiritual one I have felt in a long time. It started as normal and instead of the speakers giving talks, they took 2-3 minutes and told us why they loved and chose a favorite song and then we sang it. There were 7 short speakers and 7 songs. It was really cool to be able to sing so much in sacrament meeting! The Spirit has a great capacity to teach through the hymns and I think it is often underutilized. Often the hymns are rushed or cut down to only one verse in some of our meetings due to speakers or teachers going over time, but I say, the speakers and teachers need to end on time, so we can get to the hymns!!! There is nothing extra they need to say once their time is up that is so important that we need to skip singing time! Can you tell I'm a bit passionate about this? Anyway, I saw Dad get very choked up singing Abide with Me Tis Eventide and that made my goosebumps get goosebumps. I never see him like that. He is a very spiritual man but he is not prone to tears and neither am I so this was surprising. This was an excellent meeting and so many people made comments that they loved it too. A couple even wanted to know when we could do it again! Also, I was the first speaker and I chose to sing Called to Serve in honor of you being on a mission and because I miss you! Oh, and I wore that royal blue maxi dress that I wore for our date night a few weeks ago and got so many compliments on it and it being a really good color for me! I think I will be wearing it 
every week from now on!
The rest of my week was just the same old stuff as far as I can remember!

P.S. Voice messages are so wonderful. They are also hard for me because I hear your voice and I just want to see you and hug you so badly! It makes my "homesickness" for you even worse in some ways!

I love you a million little girl hugs and snuggles and a million fabulous spiritual Sacrament meetings all rolled up in one like a burrito! (which I love you a million of those too!) Love, MOM